You Have Permission to Be Selfish

© Emmanuelle Lambert

I used to believe selfish was bad. Evil. Bleh. Boo. And deep down, I wouldn’t admit I was selfish. And still, let’s face it: I am.

And still, again, being selfish is the best thing you can do for yourself. Not boo.

Being selfish means you take care of yourself. Being selfish means you make yourself a priority. Being selfish means you are in a better place to give a hand to others because you are not going to fall with them but pick them up. Being selfish means doing what you love for a living, being a beacon of full self expression and inspiring others to do the same. 

I have seen people lose weight and sleep because they wanted to get something done for their boss first. I have seen people faint because they had worked too hard. I have seen people shake out of being tired because, you know, “there is so much to do that someone has to do it and that someone is me, to keep the project going forward smoothly“.

No hey oh wait, “smoothly“? Is it “smooth” because we as a society allow people to sacrifice their own well-being for the “smooth running” of a project / company / something somebody else asked them to do?

Does that make you a better person? Tell me, who says so? Does looking good justify health problems? Meh, don’t think so. This to me is boo bleh bull poop and whatever you name it.

So next time you feel guilty because you turn off your computer before 8pm to spend time with yourself, please don’t. You want permission? There you are, your permission slip: you have permission to be selfish. You have permission to be your own priority. You have permission to stand up and out. Be you. For f**k’s sake.

(and no, I am not forgetting your questions, dear friends and readers. Stay tuned,  I am preparing you a lil’ something :)).


11 responses to “You Have Permission to Be Selfish

  1. Yes! Thank you! We’ve been taught that putting ourself first is bad…. what a horrible lesson. Without putting our oxygen mask on first, we are of no use to anyone! Thank you 🙂

  2. I agree with this wholeheartedly! In fact being selfish, or practicing attentive, loving self-care, is one of the most selfless acts we can do insofar as it gives us so much more energy, love and attention for all the other folks in our life.


  3. I couldn’t agree more! I wrote about the same thing from a parent perspective this week. Too often selfish is seen as a negative thing. We need to allow ourselves to be selfish or we’ll burn and crash. Otherwise, like Daphne & Robyn said we will not have energy for anyone else in our lives either.

  4. Fantastic!! I completely and utterly agree!! Thanks for writing this. I’ll be sharing it far and wide!

  5. Melissa Dinwiddie

    Yes, indeed. I spent too many years believing that taking care of myself was “selfish.” What kind of twisted message is that?

    I could have used this post years ago. Thanks for an important reminder!

  6. Thank you lovelies for your comments, so glad to see this post resonated with you. It’s good to be reminded from time to time, right? 😉

    Take precious care of yourselves 🙂

  7. Too many of the women I teach in my movement studio martyr themselves to the lives of others. This drives me batty! I work very hard to help them understand that they are only as good for others as they are for themselves, but the larger culture teaches women that self-SACRIFICE is their path. Grrr…

  8. YES! I wrote pretty much this exact same thing a while back (using Star Trek IV as a framing device). Love it.

  9. I agree too! And I was the worst at this when I was younger………..not any more….learned some hard lessons……..but better learned than never….thx for a great article Emmanuelle!

  10. Pingback: Body Loving Blogopshere 02.05.12 | Medicinal Marzipan

  11. Pingback: Music Monday – Selfish |

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