This January month, well… it’s been weird. I’ve been having a hard start to 2012, which only seemed to truly begin for me on the day of my birthday (7 January, write that down once and for all. And shower me with dark chocolate, thankyouverymuch). Since then, I’ve had sucky days and sticky weeks.
I chose to take some distance, go with the flow and not try to swim upstream. I tried the upstream thing, and the outcome was not pretty, trust me on that one.
As you may know, I was forced to be at the office more than I wanted, more than what I am used to. At first I fought this, I thought it was a step further back, I thought my Grand Scheme was going awry, and I fought it with all my heart. Only to end up drained and cast away on a dead shore.
Then I chose to relax into it, observe my thoughts and feelings, let the lesson, whatever it would be, being taught to me. I have learned the true meaning of “surrender”.
Friends, to put it bluntly, sometimes the s**t hits the fan and as much as you fight it, it still happens. “Sit back and relax” is not easy, far from it. And it doesn’t mean that you give up, oh nonononono. The Universe, or whatever you want to call it, has a way of teaching you a thing or two that become apparent once you choose to observe.
I’ll be brutally honest: I have doubted, yes – you can’t be cheerful all the bloody time, unless you’re a Care Bear (last time I checked, I was not covered in fur and rainbows were not coming out of my round belly). I have cried, I have thought of giving up and settling in, I have considered – ohmyguru – staying put.
Well, after a week of letting things be, I am back. I have gained even more clarity on where I am headed and I am more determined than ever to serve and make a positive difference. I see me when I work here and I see me when I coach or teach yoga, and man, is there a difference in how I feel when I do these things. So yeah, I am back.
What will it be, swim upstream or go with the flow?